IOW blogger
BY DARREN COOMBER
We’re fast approaching the time of year that most men dread. February 14th, Valentines Day. The one day a year where you can show that special somebody in your life how much they mean to you.
I remember the thrill of sending anonymous Valentines cards to girls in my class when I was at school, which looking back now seems a bit of an odd tradition. Even if the girl in question did mutually return my admiration, how would she know who it was from and why would she want to risk of looking foolish and guessing incorrectly? This system seems more than just a little bit flawed to me!
Romance of course means different things to different people, not least men and women. Some of my friends go the whole hog and treat their partners to a romantic meal out, chocolates, a soppy card, flowers and gifts. I personally think of all of this is more than just a little bit cliched. Overpriced flowers, cheesy cards with teddy bears on and not to mention restaurants packing people in only to offer them a substandard, yet supposedly, special Valentines Day ‘set menu’.
By now you’re probably thinking that I’m some miserable, bitter and twisted loner that can’t bare to see other people happy. Well I am actually in a relationship (lucky girl!) and whilst I don’t at all enjoy Valentines Day, I do consider myself a romantic. For me romance isn’t necessarily about overblown gestures and expensive gifts. It’s also definitely not about feeling like I have to spoil my girlfriend on the one day a year when I’m told to. No, for me romance is about spontaneity. It’s about the little things you do for each other. Making your partner feel special. Little surprises. One of the things I like to do is leave little cheery notes lying around the house for my girlfriend to discover, or I make her favourite meal when she’s had a rubbish day. It’s meeting her at the train station for no reason other than to walk her home. It’s sending her a text just to let her know I’m thinking of her. None of these cost much in time or effort, and none of them come with an overblown price tag or a furry red heart on. I’m no relationship expert but I think a little gesture every now and then goes a long way and is a much nicer alternative than bowing to the weight of expectation come February the 14th.
How are you spending Valentine’s Day?
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Darren, I agree with you completely.
The expectation on the man and the woman to do something “lovey-dovey” on that particular day is expensive, wasteful and artificial. I would love to be met at the train station and be walked home just because my man wanted to do that. And I would love to get a text message saying: “Thinking about you! Hope your day is going well.” These are inexpensive and yet meaningful ways to show you care about someone in your life.
In this economy, finding, creating and inventing your own ways to say:
“I love you”,
“I value our time together”,
“You are important to me”
“I enjoy our time together”
“Thanks for putting up with all my idiosyncrasies”
“We are blessed to have each other”
“Thank you”
“I’m sorry”
These are all words that carry emotions and feelings that do not (and should not) cost anything! Yet, more often than not, we withhold these words from our loved ones all year long. Then from the place of a guilty conscience, we feel we have to make up for it on February 14th!
Whereas, if we said all those things listed above at various times all year round like Darren does, February 14th could be just another day on the calendar that we can choose to agree to observe, or we can choose not to agree to observe. It would become our choice. Not the choice of the vendors who would sell us stuff we don’t want or don’t need on a particular day of the year of their choosing!
Blessed is the couple whose relationship is strong enough to recognize and say to each other: – “We are going through a bit of a tight spot financially, and it would not be irresponsible of us to buy chocolates, flowers, candy, fuzzy hearts and teddy bears for each other this year when we have major bills that we can hardly pay. Let’s agree to find ways to show our love for each other without spending any money this February 14th.” That conversation would go a long way.
On the flip side – if you or your significant other have the means to purchase a valentine gift and you choose not to because you are cheap, stingy and indifferent – well that is a whole different matter for a whole different blog! lol
“The Art of Romance..” http://tinyurl.com/ye726yq Special Rose Sale – Valentines